Is That Your Final Answer?

Well, we prayed about it and God answered. We had a job possibility, and they declined. So here we are, at a crossroads with perhaps the darkest future I could imagine. I say darkest because up ahead I see nothing; there is nothing certain ahead and that makes it dark.

We have decided to move back to our hometown (or just outside there). There is no job there, there is no financial security. As a matter of fact, being away for two and half years will make it even harder to find a job. There is family, but family doesn't pay the bills, know what I mean? It's a little exciting to start a new chapter in our lives, one without school, but what will this new chapter entail? How will our lives be affected living close to family yet again?

We asked God to send us where he wanted, and I wonder if this is where he wants? We can go back to our home congregation, but they are not in a position to hire or even pay part time, so where does that leave us? Does God want us to plant a church? Does God want me to serve in a vocational manner, trying to help the church grow? Is this even the right choice, moving back? Does God want us somewhere else??? TO MANY QUESTIONS!!! But one thing is for sure, God has not wanted us at any other place that I have applied for. So, there is a lesson to learn here: when you pray for something, expect an answer! But, don't assume that God's answer is the same as yours, or that God will allow something to happen just because you really want it. When the guy told me they were no longer interested, I knew that was an answer from God, but that didn't make it any easier to accept. I knew that God has said no, but I wanted to ask God if that was His final answer? Are you sure, God? Where then will we go? What will we do? Why are you not sending to this place or that place? Why are you sending us back into family situations that drive us totally insane???

I guess I am also upset because I feel like we are taking 10 steps backwards. We were in a situation that was not best for us and to dependent on others. But we moved and found a deeper relationship with each other than we could ever find back home. We started depending on each other, because each other is all we had in a new place. It's just been us (now Lyla, too!). But now we are going right back into scenarios we left. No one has changed, nothing has changed, and now I am worried that we will go right back to how we were. I will go back to work at Winn Dixie or Pizza Hut (both where I spent a good 4 years at!), and be a college graduate who isn't working in his field. It just frustrates me.

But, I know God is in control. For one reason or another, this is where we are headed. When we moved to Searcy, God put us through tests that have strengthened us and brought to a great place in our lives. Now, we will do it again. I know God knows what He is doing, I just wish I knew what He was doing. But we don't have to know. God tells us simple to "BE STILL, and know that I Am God". Just be still. That's a hard thing to do. God, are you sure that's your final answer?

Just be still?

Transitions...

The times is coming...4 weeks and counting until I finally graduate from college! It's only taken 5 years to complete a 4 year degree, but I think after changing majors I have done pretty good! When I think about it I realize that I have been in school, non-stop, for 18 years!!! There was kindergarten, then 5 years of college with no time off (besides the summer). So out of 24 years of life on this earth, 18 has been spent in the classroom! I have never really known anything else besides classes, teachers, homework, and tests. It is such a relief to finally end that stressful and straining routine and move on to something else. But, it also scares me!

I have never known anything but school. I have never known what it feels like to not know that you are going to class starting in August or January. I have never known what it feels like to be married without being a full-time student. School has always been a major part of my life and, in 4 weeks, it will become a thing of the past. This all may sound simplistic or trivial, but believe me it's scary!

Transitions are all in our lives. We move from childhood to adolescence, from adolescence to young adults, etc., etc. Within each of these periods are smaller transitions: changes in grades, changes in friends, change in jobs, promotions, family relationships, marriage, children. And then there are the smaller ones we take for granted: transitioning from training wheels to two wheels, learning to drive, actually getting your license. We are constantly facing transitions in our lives. We may not like some, we may welcome others. But we face them almost on a weekly basis!

There is another transition that we either take for granted or overlook all together: the transitions in our spiritual lives. We become Christians, and that is a big transition. But I will never forget one person who praised her child being baptized by stating, "I'm sure glad that's over!" Many of us treat our walk with Christ just like that. We make the transition into Christianity, but we sit down afterward and think that's it. But we seem to forget that Jesus tells a church that seems to be sitting down...

I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth. (Revelation 3:15-16)

Here is the bad news, never transitioning in our spiritual lives makes us lukewarm, neither hot nor cold. You're not cold because you have accepted the gift of salvation and have made the decision to become a Christian. But you are not hot either because you have don nothing since. Paul chastizes the Corinthians because when he first came to them, he gave them milk from scripture for nourishment, but they have not transitioned from milk to meat, from the basics to digging deeper and drawing nearer to God. Ask yourself this: how many times a day do you pray? How much do you read your bible (we could all work on this)? How much have you really grown closer to God since becoming a Christian? If you can't honestly say that you are any different (internally) from the day you became a Christian, then you are in danger of being lukewarm. Now, you don't have to be on fire and converting every person you come into contact with (in my opinion) Sometimes we can't find the strenght or courage or even the time to try to talk to every single person we know! But what I check myself on is my spiritual life: do I feel any closer to God now than when I first came to Him? Do I know anything more about Him and His Will now than before? Do I even have a desire to know more or to grow closer? That's probably the most important question! Many "Christians" feel fine not going anywhere, staying right where they are, without a desire to grow more, and that I believe is indeed lukewarm.

So, maybe transitions are not bad. Some are great for our lives, others are intimidating. But we can't avoid them. And if we avoid transitions in our spiritual lives, then please reference the above scripture...

Just Waiting...

I updated my status on facebook with this: "David is just waiting...". A friend of ours asked, "Waiting for what?" Waiting for what? Isn't that the million dollar question...

All we really have is waiting. There are things in our lives that we can do nothing about except wait, especially if we are relying on others. We are impatient people, that is for sure. We want what we want when we want it, so when we are required to wait it goes against our nature, our desires. Think about it: how do you respond when you are put on hold by companies on the phone? Do you wait 1 minute then hang up? Do you role your eyes when asked, "Can you please hold?" It's cause we're impatient! Being impatient isn't all that bad. It's when it starts effecting you emotionally or causing stress of anxiety. If you are waiting and it causes you to have bad day or start lashing out at others around you because you are not getting what you want right now, that is when it is bad to be impatient! I am writing this especially for me.

What am I waiting for? Let's see...

• Thanksgiving
• Christmas
• Job Interview possibility
• Graduation
• The end of this day
• The end of this week
• Christ to come back
• My daughter to reach more of those "cute" stages
• Some of my family to come to know Christ personally

For most of these, I am being really impatient. I told my wife just this morning, "I'm not going to make it through this day." It's causing me to wake up in the mornings and dread the day because what I want is not coming fast enough! I want for school to be over! I want my degree now! I want this really loooong day to be over now! I want that man to call me back now! It's causing me to have frustrations which I vent on others (especially my wife, who loves me dearly that she deals with it and tries to encourage me!).

Just wait. Getting frustrated doesn't doesn't make what you want happen any earlier. Just because I want the weekend to be here doesn't mean it will get here any faster. Just because I am frustrated about someone not calling me back soon enough doesn't make them call me any sooner. Just wait. I know that it sucks to hear that, it sucks for me! I just told myself to wait and now I'm angry at myself! Just wait...just wait...just wait...and be patient...

Isaiah 40:31..."but those who wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint."

Hail to the Chief...

So, big news this week, huh? Looks like we have a new president with a new regime and all. And, he's an african american. I do believe that this is a big milestone in our country's history, but why did this election have to be about race? I mean, if he had lost it would be because he is black; he won and it's because he is black. Maybe he won because people thought he was the best person. If he would have lost maybe it would have been because people thought he was not the best person. People are saying that this is a huge step for America, and yet it's still all about race!

I am a little worried about this guy though. But not because I think he is the antichrist. Let me make it clear: I don't believe that Barack Obama is the antichrist. I am not even sure there is the antichrist. I've read all the Left Behind books (great reads!), but I am not convinced that is what is really going to happen. Look at it this way: people thought Hitler was the antichrist, people thought Hussein was the antichrist, and look what happened to these guys! Truth is, they were a form of an antichrist. Who knows, Obama may be another antichrist. No, I'm afraid of this guy because there are a lot of unknowns about him. I worry that many people voted for him simply because they wanted a change of power. They were tired of republicans, so let's put a democrat in office! Many didn't stop and look at the secrecy that shrouds this man. Is he Christian, is he Islam? What is his stance on certain ethical issues? There are a lot of unknowns, and the fact is it was REALLY easy for him to get to this point. He was only a junior congressman, only 47! How did he rise so fast??

Well, anyways, anyone who reads this I want to be comforted: this is not the end. What happened November 5th? You still went to work/school, you still ate, watched TV, slept, nothing different than November 3rd. This is not the end of the world or anything. The fact is we must remember where our true hope lies. I have read articles where people are likening him to Christ, calling him a savior. You could see the hope that lied in the eyes of those gathered at his party, and it looked as if it was a last resort for hope. Millions of people believe that this man is the only hope we have, but we know the truth! God is the only place that our hope lies! In Christ we should place our trust! You want real change? Christ provides the real change that we need, an internal change that will not only change the course of your entire life but the course of your eternity! God rules supreme! God is more powerful than any president will ever be, antichrist or not!

Please don't forget that we have a great promise for our Lord; that Christians have a home over on the other side. We are to live as foreigners in this land, to be the light in this foreign land, and to strive to bring people to Christ. Whoever the president is, does that an impact on what we are called to do? Don't get me wrong, it will be an interesting year next year when President Obama takes over. I wander  what will happen, but more importantly I wander when we as Christians will get off of our pedestal and start following Christ?

My Favorite Ladies

I worry and complain a lot. I mean, I'm tired of this and tired of that. I complain about students I ran into that day or those who sat next to me who made my teeth itch. I complain about my teachers who give absolutely ridiculous homework assignments and those they call "busy work". I complain about teachers who give weekly exams over 60 or 70 pages of reading.

I worry because we haven't found a place to work yet and graduation is only 8 weeks away. I worry because things seem in such turmoil with our economy that I wonder what will happen in the near future. I worry about family members who are throwing their whole life away. I worry about family members who don't really know the love of God, only pretending that they do. I worry about what kind of father I will be when Lyla actually gets old enough to remember things I say and do. I worry about grades, about graduation, about money, about Jennifer, about Lyla, about jobs, about church (things I can't even control!), about family (again, I can't control!)

But I will tell you one thing (and I mean it when I say it), each and every time I walk through the front door and see my favorite two ladies sitting in the recliner, so many of those worries and frustrations melt away. I walk in, and I can see my wife's face light up like a christmas tree (granted, it's probably because now she gets some relief!) and when I walk in Lyla seems to perk up a little bit (though it could be gas!). When I walk in and see what God has placed before me, right now, all the "unknowns" in the future just seem to fade away. Nothing can describe the feeling of when your daughter looks at you and gets the biggest smile on her face, just because it's daddy (or again, maybe gas!) All the complaints fade away. Granted, they rear their ugly head back up again, but for that moment nothing else matters. When I look at my wife and see the strength that she has had going through everything she has in the last 2 months, I am astounded and overwhelmed with love for that woman. When we are laughing (usually at nothing) nothing else matters. Who cares about grades? I have the greatest two ladies that any man could want. Who cares about what teachers do or don't do? I have two great ladies waiting on me to get home.

Unconditional love...

So, I thought after my last post I should write something positive...

One of our cats crack me up. Well, she actually drives me insane, but then she cracks me up. She is so AGGRAVATING!!! She walks between your feet and right in front of you, bowing up and trying to get you to pet her. I would rather kick her than pet her cause she is soooo aggravating! She gets into everything that she can possibly get into, and she knows the rule that she is not allowed in the baby room. But every time the door opens, she runs in there and tries to hide! Also, she knows that her and minnie (the other cat) is not allowed in our bedroom because they like to keep us up, yet every time the door opens she dashes right into the room and under the bed. She makes my teeth itch!

We pop her, holler at her, snap our fingers at her, and just get aggravated with her. Yet, everyday we come out of the room, every time we get up from the couch, there she is in front of us, wanting for us to love on her. It doesn't matter what we do to her, she still loves us!

It may sound weird (or maybe I sound like one of those weird cat people :)), but I wish I had the sort of love a cat has!

In the arms of the angels??

WARNING! The following may offend...

First off, I want to say that I am an animal person. I like cats (have two of my own) and occassionally dogs (neighborhood dogs excluded!) So when I say the following, I am perfectly unbiased!

Okay, so I am watching tv and there is this commercial running. You've seen it, you can't help but see it. They run it on every channel! Sara McLachlan's "Arms of the Angels" begins playing (which will immediately melt anyone with that piano intro) and you are prepared for a tear jerker. Here is comes, it's a commercial for.......neglected animals. And there is Sara McLachlan herself advocating for abused animals and trying to get me to send money. Okay, I am the first to melt at the sight of a sweet little kitten or puppy. As a matter of fact, just like night I saw a itty-bitty kitten on the sidewalk and stopped to try and get it (what I would have done with it I have no idea). And to the producer of this commercial credit, he picked the cutest, saddest little animals to put on there. DISCLAIMER! I do not, in any form or fashion, condone the abuse or neglect of animals. Beating an animal until it is dead is ridiculous, inhumane, and honestly is a sign of something far deeper psychologically. But, I wonder...

Where are the commercials for the neglected and abused children or women? Yeah, we see the commercials for the starving children in foreign countries but what about in our own backyard? DISCLAIMER AGAIN! I do not advocate the removal of the foreign children's commercial, I am just asking a question. I mean, we have superstar singers like Sara Mclachlan spending her time and energy fighting for abused animals, but yet where are the superstars standing up for abused children? I'm sure they're out there, but I don't see a commercial running on every major station known to man! If you think this is sort of a retarded subject to write about, or if you think I am being too cruel, allow me to present you with something...

There have been many nations who have placed animals above humans by worshiping them. Egypt worshiped cats as animals of the gods. They were placed in high esteem in the temples and with the pharoahs, all the while they had millions of Israelites in slavery. Their own people were starving to death and suffering, but the cats were worshiped. We see what happened to Egypt. Once the most powerful nation in the world, not it is a speck on the map. I'm not saying that the worship of cats brought the dynasty down. I am saying that their misappropriated priorities did bring them down. Their priorities were way off base, and the worship of man and animals instead of worshiping and following the God of the universe did bring them down (in my opinion).

Okay, so this went a little further than I wanted. I was just blown away that we cry out over the abuse and neglect of animals, but remain silent when it comes to the rape, beatings, and even emotional abuse of children. We say, "well we can't do anything about that, but that cat over there is being abused! OUTRAGE!!! MAKE A COMMERCIAL!!!" We overlook human abuse but scream about animal abuse. Where are out priorities? And I didn't mean to equivilate the abuse of animals to the fall of the Egyptian empire, but I wonder...what's next for us?